Now that I’m back to work, my days are a little more monotonous and there isn’t quite as much to share – so this is instead a 2 week update. Is pandemic life feeling more normal for any of you now too? I don’t have that intense fear of leaving my house anymore, like I did before. I know it has to do with being called back to work and having to leave the house. I feel ok and not overly anxious at work now – it certainly helps that I’m mostly in my office by myself, unless I’m needed to help with other things. Even if I am helping elsewhere at the door or cleaning, it’s still not my full day. I’m just extra cautious of making sure to not touch my face and keeping socially distant. Only the bus still infuriates me. So many people not wearing their mask properly or at all. I’m curious what the busses will look like when school goes back. Right now, they’re still fairly quiet – but I can only imagine how much busier they’re going to be and I doubt the TTC will be adding enough busses to keep them fairly quiet like they are now.
This was a busy couple of weeks for birthdays. Mine was the first Monday and my brothers was last Monday. We just did our usual quiet staying home and doing take out – he bought for me and then I bought for him. Our dad also took us out for dinner as well – our first time going to an actual restaurant and dining in since the pandemic started. We went to Swiss Chalet and when we got there, the waitress looked so overjoyed that we were actually there to dine in. We were the only ones there when we got there and only 2 other tables were sat while we were there.
My therapy appointments have gone from every week, to bi-weekly, to now monthly maintenance check-ins. There is always the opportunity to go back to more frequent if I need to, but for now I’m actually feeling calmer and more in control of my emotions and feelings. I’m truly amazed by how far I’ve come in just a few short months. From being completely frozen and seriously feeling totally broken to now actually feeling some happiness is a complete 180 from where I was the end of spring till now. I truly feel the biggest change has been my sleep and the routine surrounding it. I went from insomnia and not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep to now not staying up past 1am, falling asleep within 5 minutes of putting the meditation on and sleeping right through until my alarm goes off. Also, building my vitamin taking into my sleep routine has made it the first time ever that I’ve not missed a day taking them. With the way natural things work, it takes consistency and time for it to show a difference and WOW! The magnesium is truly helping with both the sleep and the anxiety/depression. After all my reading on it and the benefits – I’m SO glad that it’s working for me and I can see the difference with how much it’s helping.
With my mind feeling calmer, I’m finally feeling like I can do things that I enjoy and make me happy. I was practically punishing myself by not letting myself do things that I enjoyed. I wasn’t taking time to watch a movie, relax in a bath, play heroclix, play animal crossing, bake and more. I was really feeling stuck in not letting myself feel enjoyment and happiness. So I did a thing… I jumped back in to competitive play with heroclix, even though it was out of my comfort zone to do it. Normally, I would be working on a team for a long while and practicing/tweaking it for months before a major tournament. I decided to sign up for ROC online nationals just a few days before the deadline to sign up. I also basically copied a team that a friend made instead of building something myself. I normally have a team and just keep playing it and tweaking it as new stuff comes out. But I hadn’t played since before rotation – so my team was no longer viable because half the pieces had rotated out. The team my friend was working on had similar elements to what I was playing previously and felt way more like my play style than the teams I was trying to force to work when they were really sub-optimal. I’m so glad I made that decision to play. I had a ton of fun and actually did well enough to make the cut and play in the 2nd day. I’ve written a whole blog post of my tournament report that you can find here. I also signed up for teams this last weekend and I’m working on writing up that tournament report now – so sign up for my email notification for when I put up the post and you’ll get an email when it goes up.
That’s the highlights for the last 2 weeks.
Until next time, xoxo