Mind, please stop racing!

Ever have those days (or weeks!) when you just can’t get your mind to quiet? Well that’s been me these last few days.

I’ve had anxiety since I was a teenager (I had an anxiety attack so bad when I was in my teens that I passed out!) and it’s something that’s just always kinda there. There are good times when I sometimes even forget I have anxiety. But there are times when it feels like its in overdrive and it’s almost all consuming. Sometimes, I know what’s setting me off. Other times, no clue. That’s the worst, not knowing, isn’t it? When you know what’s causing it, you can at least try and remedy it.

Most times I can just push thru it, put on a presentable face and go about my day. Unless you know me REALLY well, you’d probably think I was having a good day. Having a day job really helps with that. Gives me a reason to get out of bed instead of hiding. It’s not quite as easy to work my side business tho because the only one to answer to there is myself and if I’m home with no one to answer to, it’s SO much easier to just check out. Yes, it’s really exhausting mentally to put on that face when I’m battling with my thoughts, but it keeps me functioning. So long as I can focus on something else, that helps keep me from breaking down. But 1 little question asking how I’m doing from someone who cares and it all falls down like dominoes.

I hate how it’s all consuming. How it takes away rational thought. Freaking out in my mind about something that others would feel is trivial or unimportant. It makes it really hard to open up about it. But seeing as it’s so present in my life and that it’s affecting me so strong right now, I feel like I should share about it.  So if I do check out for a few days, you know that’s probably what happened. Heck, I’ve been working on the bones of this new site of mine for a month now.  I’m determined tho.  I know that there will be setbacks, but I also know that I’ll persevere and reach my goals. I’m a persistent one!

But back to anxiety. Triggers. I know confrontation gets me every time. Not just actual confrontation, even just perceived confrontation. AND, I’m not even meaning confrontation as in having a fight (although that gets me too, I can’t handle violence).  It’s saying or telling or asking something that I even just think won’t be received well. Same thing with change. I know change is a biggie with a lot of people, not just me.  It’s just so hard to adapt to something new, and even harder when you don’t have all.the.info.NOW. or the time to wrap your head around it and get used to it so it becomes your new normal. Also going somewhere new for the first time alone. Although Google maps on my phone has helped with that a little tho – thank you technology! It’s all about coping, right?

So what helps? Right now, thinking rationally and not in the middle of feeling I’m about to have a nervous breakdown, I know that if I focus on my breathing and do things to relax (like a nice long hot bath with a bath bomb and a candle) or things to distract me (like a Netflix binge) or to just let go and have a good long sobbing cry (that release can feel so good to not hold it in anymore) or things to get me moving (yes, get out of my pj’s, get dressed and go for a walk)… these things can help.  But to remember them in the moment, or have the energy in the moment to actually do them.. well that doesn’t always happen.

So what do YOU do when you’re feeling anxious?  What helps you?  How do you get yourself to actually do the things that help when you’re in the moment? Share your thoughts in the comments below or send me an email if you want to be a little more private.

Until next time, xoxo