Well, stage 2 opened up this week. Personal care is back open, small indoor gathering is allowed again and outdoor gatherings increased. My dose 2 side effects from getting my shot last Saturday continued into Monday and Tuesday. Just the tiredness and brain fog. Thankfully my arm soreness left fairly quickly and the rest was gone soon after.
As we get further along with the reopening, I’m finding my anxiety getting higher. I was reading something about “reopening anxiety” and that is definitely something that’s resonating with me. I’ve gotten my brain so ingrained with staying home and staying safe that I’m feeling so nervous to go out again. Our house has been following the safety measures and stay at home orders to a T and it’s definitely going to take some brain retraining to get comfortable with people again.
I’ve really been struggling with feeling super anti social lately, which is strange when I’m also feeling lonely. Little things keep irritating me – noises around me like being able to hear a TV on in another room and even the blowing air of the air conditioner. I’ve been back to spending more time alone in my bedroom again to avoid the noises of others living around me. This spirals down to affecting my sleep and how I’m eating. If I’m up in my room, I have more of a tendency to just keep napping instead of doing anything. It also means I’m not really eating anything more than dinner and maybe a snack. I do keep a few things in my room to snack on (apple sauce cups, dry cereal and almonds currently), but I haven’t even been really having them and just sleep another nap instead.
The kiddo has been asking me to play a game of heroclix, but I haven’t even felt up to doing that at the same time he wants to do it. Our sleep schedule is so different from each others that he doesn’t want to when I’m up to it and vice versa. We did get 1 game in on Saturday though. Even conversations through text or messenger with friends I haven’t felt up to. I’ve started just not even looking at my phone for hours at a time and wait until I’m feeling up to a short conversation before responding. This is very uncharacteristic of me because I usually always have my phone in my hand – I just haven’t had the energy for a bunch of conversations sometimes.
I’m very much missing my bestie and her family this week. We’ve had a long standing tradition of getting together for Canada Day but again due to COVID restrictions, it didn’t happen. It was a day that all the kids would make the time to be together with us and we could hang out and catch up. Not that we’d be celebrating this year with all the news around the residential schools and the growing numbers of children who have been found. I’ve taken this day to do some reading, learning and listening instead.
As the week went on, my sleep finally started getting better again. The beginning of the week was lots of 4 hour blocks of sleep, but multiple a day until my vaccine side effects tapered off. Then I had a day of inability to sleep one night and I made myself stay up until dinner before crashing and that reset everything and I’ve been going to sleep between 10-12pm and sleeping 7-9 hours. I did wake one morning with a nightmare and that shook me for the day. I almost never remember my dreams and I don’t often get nightmares – but when I do, it’s the only time I remember what I’ve dreamt.
Produce goals are going well but I’m finding myself binging on too many bread products. They’re just so easy to grab and I’m feeling all about convenience. It’s why I’m loving my frozen fruit and veggies. No prep needed and just a quick nuke or defrost. I’m not doing well at all with my movement goals though this week. I need to get back in that groove again.
Fingers crossed my sleep continues from here!
Until next time, xoxo