Pandemic Week 111

Starting this week in a not well mental state. The anxiety is high, I keep feeling like I could just cry and the mental static is loud and drowning. Work felt overwhelming, I just wanted to walk and release when the work day was done, but of course it started raining heavy. So instead, as soon as I walked in the door I went right up to my room for an hour to be alone. I cried. I took some CBD. I put mindless YouTube on. I put on my pjs. I cuddled under the blankets and just centered myself. I’m sure it was all exasperated because I didn’t sleep well last night, so fingers crossed for good sleep tonight. I’ll likely have some more CBD when I go up to assist with that and put on a meditation.

Thankfully the anxiety subsided to a more tolerable level as the week went on. Work was crazy busy every single day and being so busy felt like a distraction from it when I was in the zone. I definitely continued to have moments where it felt too much and I can’t wait for a time when things are calmer for longer periods again. I’m doing everything I can to help make that happen, but it’s so hard to make it happen when the brain just takes over. 

I had dropped off of doing the daily yoga before work (it’s actually been a few months if I’m being honest with myself), but this week I picked yoga back up and have been doing it about every other day. I could feel my body feeling stiff and sluggish and already – with just a few days in, the stretching and holding poses is really helping me feel more limber already. I am however still walking most days. The only day’s I’ve missed are ones when I’m working 12 hour days or getting a ride. 

It was a fantastic Saturday. I got to play Heroclix and see friends. This was at a new venue I hadn’t been to before and I’ll be honest that I was feeling super nervous to go there. I knew I’d be fine once I got there, but my anxiety of going to new places was making me feel frozen in place. Thankfully I noticed a friend had signed up who had previously told me they’d be willing to grab me from the GO station, so I reached out to ask if they’d mind and he was good with it. I’m so glad I asked because it’s a really weird location and not intuitive of where you need to go once there – but he’d been there before and knew that the entrance is in the back. The build was golden age and bring 3 teams. The idea was to play a different team each round and give us a chance to play with figures we’ve gotten these last few years and haven’t gotten to use with lockdowns. I make a spy team, a skrull team and a phoenix force team. I did my usual of putting them in deck boxes and letting my opponent choose a random box. My first round was against James and he let me choose which of his teams to face. I chose is TMNT team that looked fun. He ended up picking my spy team of bike widow, red guardian, recruits and spys. I had to KO his Shredder Illusion SO many times as I was working my way through his team. I laughed so much in this game and in the spirit of fun, I didn’t make him re-roll his crit hit from his illusion on my recruit – one of the only successful hits he managed to get that game. I won 295-100. Game two was my skrull team against Kevin’s Destroyer/Kid Loki team. I completely messed up with my map choice (I pulled out a random map from my bag and just put it out without really looking. My goal was using stuff I hadn’t really used and that’s what this map fit into) because there was no hindering terrain on it. It wasn’t until I REALLY looked at my dials did I realize everyone had stealth. He managed to very quickly take out my team with being able to see them easily and I missed most of my shape change rolls. Last game was with Nathan. He was playing thunderbolts against my phoenix force. 2 of my figures were mind controllers and I ended up using his team against him. He had Atlas who he was making colossal to get extra stats and I would mind control him to take out his figures one by one with Old Man Phoenix tying them down to keep them in place. I took them out one by one as he was trying to take out Kid Omega but either kept missing or I’d rolled successful super senses on my stop click. I ended up winning 300-0. It was a great time getting out and seeing people I hadn’t seen in quite a while. Then on the way back to the GO station, Matt and I decided to go chill in a Timmies to grab a late lunch. Neither of us had plans for the next bit so we ended up hanging out a couple of hours. I really enjoyed our conversation and hanging out with him. It’s always nice to get to know friends better and be there for each other. So nice seeing faces and touching base too!

I ended the week just relaxing and grounding myself. I slept in, watched some mindless YouTube and Netflix, went live briefly in my VIP group to share the unboxing of a package I got from Color Street that arrived Friday but I didn’t feel up to opening live that day. I’d earned an incentive again for reaching goals they put out and it had arrived. A bag, manicure kit, file and buffer block. I also touched base with some brief conversations with a few friends but mostly just enjoyed the quiet. I’m missing talking with friends and sometimes find it hard to reach out, so I tend to do it when I’m feeling brave enough that I’m not bugging them. Ya, I know how silly that sounds when I’m typing it out – but it’s sometimes what goes through my head. 

I decided to skip yoga Sunday because I felt pretty sore from all the movement yesterday. I walked double what I normally do. It felt fantastic in the moment but I’m paying for it today. Back at it tomorrow though!   

No new mani this week, it still looks fantastic. It is getting quite a bit of growth coming at the base so I’ll likely change it up soon. I did great with what I grabbed for my vendor event table this week. I shopped a friend and got a wooden photo holder that’s wood burned with my link as well as 3 photos to put in it. It’s going to look amazing on my table! I also ordered a t-shirt to wear and I hope it arrives in time. 

I feel like this was all over the place this week and I hope what I wrote made sense and wasn’t too convoluted. 

Until next time, xoxo