Oh man. This has not been a good mental health week. My sleep is super messed up – to the point that I’m up all night and not falling asleep until 11am and then only sleeping for less than 5 hours. Or actually being able to fall asleep by say 3am some days and waking before noon but then being exhausted in the afternoon and needing to nap. There’s no rhyme or reason to it and it’s all over the map. I ended the weekend with not sleeping at all and only an afternoon nap. I hope I can get this better because my mental health isn’t as overwhelming if I get better sleep.
I’m feeling super emotional and have cried at some point almost every day or at least felt on the verge of tears. My head keeps racing but I can’t pull thoughts out of it to even be able to even know what the thoughts are. Sure makes it hard to work through it to be able to push it aside when you can’t make out the words. Along with my head racing, so is my heart and my body. I keep shaking my leg and feel vibrations through my body along with the mental static. I’ve had to turn up the volume on my TV or my phone because the mental noise gets so loud. I hate this heavy feeling of dread that something is very wrong. Even when I CAN pull a thought out to analyze, I sit there knowing that the thought is irrational yet still unable to calm from it and move on. It’s such a paralyzing feeling.
However, even with all the hard mental times, I’m still mostly doing well with my food choices – except one day where we did pizza and I really didn’t have anything else that day. I made an amazing wrap one day for lunch that had nothing but avocado, tomato and SPG seasoning in it and it was absolutely delicious, filling and hit the spot. Most days I’m still having 2-3 fruit servings with yogurt for breakfast too. That helps satisfy those produce goals. As the week came to an end though, it kinda fell apart again. I can tell that I was in a pretty dark place with the sleep extra bad which translated to not wanting to leave bed, which led to me not eating at all except for dinner, which means not the greatest on produce. But I woke up today (Monday) and got back on track – made a brunch of egg on a croissant with a banana and yogurt. So hopefully that starting the week off right will allow me to keep this going.
Movement has been good this week. My friend Lori keeps talking about Chloe Ting’s HIIT videos so I decided to try some. I’ve done one of them 4 days in a row already and haven’t touched the Ring Fit. They’re definitely difficult for me and I’m doing the low impact option for it – I love that the option is there for it and that also means lots of room for improvement. After the first day I felt the back of my thighs so much! I ended up doing 5 out the last 7 days, which is awesome to have gotten my body moving most days this week. That’s a definite improvement over the last few weeks.
I made the decision this week to play in the charity tournament that’s happening this coming weekend. Scott Porter is running a Heroclix for Huntingtons charity event with 2 different formats as well as battle royals and an auction. I doubt I’ll get anything at the auction but I will probably get a few raffle tickets. I’ve decided to play in both the formats, which means likely no battle royals. Saturday is a more casual event. It’s Silver with a ban list and you must have at least 2 family members. I decided I wanted to play a Thor/Loki team and just have fun with it. I don’t think I’ll do particularly well with it but I like the pieces. Sunday is a modern meta day and I plan to run my new team with Omega – that’s right, not Vulture anymore, even though this would be likely the last chance to play him in modern. The new rules made him not as good, so I’ve moved on.
So with this decision to play in it, it’s made for some extra social time. I’ve been having some great Discord chats and messages with Jay, Josh and David. We’ve been playtesting, tweaking, building and just chatting. My silver team definitely changed a whole bunch after chatting and I’ve found that my modern team is pretty good – and I actually built it myself pretty much with just some input for the last couple points. I’ve only played 2 games with it but I like what it does so far. As always, I’ll write up my tournament reports once I’ve played.
The week ended with Mothers Day. It was pretty uneventful. With how lousy my sleep was, I was mostly in my room. My brother made ribs, which were delicious, but not really what I was feeling for and I only ate 3 and gave the rest to the guys to have. We’re planning to do more today instead – they’re letting me choose where to get take out and my case of the new Wonder Woman 80 heroclix set is showing that it should arrive today, which means I’ll get to play some sealed with the kiddo too.
Here’s to a hopefully better week than this last one was!
Until next time, xoxo