Pandemic Week 1

Seeing as I pretty much use this blog as a journal/tournament reports for Heroclix/tutorials, I just want to share my thoughts and feelings as this pandemic starts here and progresses. Let’s call this week 1 of COVID-19 thoughts and prep. It’s really been a few weeks here, but the seriousness started this past 2 weeks or so for us here in Toronto.

I remember being at work when it was announced that COVID-19 is a pandemic.  I noticed staff was super uneasy. It was in that moment that I felt truly fortunate that I work in the position I do now, instead of what I used to do.  You see, I’m now an accountant clerk instead of management and prior to that a bingo runner.  So I get to be in my own office with a computer and phone that aren’t shared and in my own little bubble of papers, numbers and spreadsheets.  Not touching money or serving customers.

Then they announced that schools are closed and then more and more things are getting shut down, including sit-in restaurants, bars, gyms, salons, casinos and more.  My work followed suit and closed it’s doors Monday evening.  I continued to work through the rest of the week to finish up paperwork, reporting, payroll and getting ROE’s out to the staff so we can all apply for EI while off.  But now I’m off too.

I have tried my hardest to be socially distant from others through this week while travelling on public transit – it’s hard!  But I’m doing what I can to stay safe, including washing my hands frequently – but especially as I arrive somewhere, using vinyl gloves when on the bus and in stores, changing out of clothes when I get home and showering, wiping down everything with Lysol wipes (door knobs, faucets, cell phones, light switches, banisters, remotes… anything that gets touched frequently) and not touching my face – which is really hard to do!  I’m also doing my best to stay hydrated by drinking water frequently, taking my supplements and gut health products and increasing moisture in the air to keep membranes moist.  I’m glad that the buses have been fairly empty so it’s been easy to stay away from the other passengers and I have the gloves on to make touching the poles safer.

Of our house, I’d say I’m the one being most cautious, my bro is kinda in the middle and my son feels invincible and doesn’t like that I’m keeping him from visiting his friends.  I’ve been trying to grab the essentials to get us through when I stopped at stores on the way home so I can self isolate as much as possible now that I’m done with work.  I also managed to get a bit from Amazon before their shipping dates changed to be weeks away and we’ve been using Instacart as well – which is super neat, but the stores stock levels have been quite low and trips have been about half unsuccessful each time we try.  The basics of things like pasta, rice, flour, canned beans, frozen vegetables, meat and bread have been difficult to find – but I hit the jackpot today and found most of those things.  Pasta, I’ve been finding at the dollar store.

Thankfully, I’m not part of the group having trouble finding toilet paper – I haven’t had to worry about those shelves being empty.  You see, I’ve always been one to stockpile it.  When it goes on sale, I buy about 10 packs and ask my dad to give me a ride.  So I still had 3.5 packs in my closet from months ago.  Actually, I used to be that way with all shelf stable stuff until my situation changed that I haven’t been the one that does the bulk of the shopping for the last few years.  My ex used to get all the food and now my bro does.  So my recent trips of stocking up are to help ease my own mind of having more available so we can leave the house as infrequently as possible. And maybe TMI for some of you, but I’m so glad I use cloth pads for my menstrual needs.  One of my girlfriends was having trouble finding pads on the shelf and I’m glad that I don’t have to even think about looking for those.

I know a lot of people are already going stir crazy but I haven’t had the slow time yet to be in that camp – but I’m sure it’ll come in the coming days.  I do have plans to clean and organize some of my space. Also catch up on some much needed sleep – I’ve been so anxious that I’ve been having trouble sleeping, but once I fall asleep, I’m able to stay asleep.  So now that I’m officially done work, I’ll be able to sleep in and rest my body.  I also predict a bunch of online Heroclix play on roll20.  I’ve been helping reach a few friends who are now interested in learning how to play online – if you want to learn, feel free to reach out to me and we’ll plan a time for me to walk you through it.

Mentally, I’m not doing so well.  A few weeks ago I started writing a blog about how I was only feeling anxious and not depressed and how different of a feeling that was to experience (once my brain is settled again, I’ll revisit that draft and get it posted when I’m back to feeling that way again).  Not anymore. I’m struggling hard.  I’m super low and crying frequently.  My anxiety is high and my brain just won’t calm down.  Not related to social distancing, I’m not feeling all that social.  I find myself not having the energy to reply to messages sometimes and have to work myself up to replying.  I’m going to try my hardest to focus on self care to try and bring myself back up.  Get back to guided meditations and long hot baths to relax.

I suppose that’s it for this week.  I’ll check in every so often here with how things evolve in our house as time goes on with it. Stay safe, self isolate and wash your hands!

Until next time, xoxo

2 thoughts on “Pandemic Week 1”

  1. Brilliant thank you for be so honest and addressing this its good to see how others are coping

    1. Thank you too for speaking out in your YouTube video too. Too many with mental health issues are quiet, so it’s great hearing that we’re not alone in our feelings. Stay safe xoxo

Comments are closed.